“No Rest for the Wickeds…” by Richard F. Yates

Well—golly! It’s been a busy few months, hasn’t it? Seems like, now that summer is winding to a close, I can look back on several months of ACTION! We went to concerts, 4th of July events, saw a live YouTuber, hit the beach, a street fair, the zoo, had a few art sales in the lawn, and did a LOT of DJing (which is kind of weird, when you consider the fact that I’ve been trying to RETIRE from DJing for about five years now… I’m old and tired and have mostly ancient music, but they keep PULLING ME BACK IN!)

Speaking of spinning tunes, last Sunday, Mariah and I packed the gear in the car and headed to Vader, Washington (unfortunately NOT named after Darth,) to provide some music for a wedding. Vader is a small town (fewer than 700 residents, as of the last census), but they know how to throw a party! Here’s what the venue (a still functioning, but nicely cleaned up, barn) looked like:

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While we were there, Mariah spotted some goats—which she finds to be very creepy critters but still somehow funny! (She took some photos…)

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The folks at the wedding were very nice, and the crowds were enthusiastic (especially the bride and the little kids), but what most of the people in attendance wanted to hear was country music, hip hop, or Christian tunes, and although I brought all the songs on the playlist that the bride provided for me, I had very few songs from these genres, besides what she requested, so I wasn’t very useful when people came up asking for specific tracks. Regardless, the folks seemed to have a good time, and they even sprang for an extra hour of music (which, I guess, means I must have been doing something right.)

One particularly interesting element of this wedding that I’d never seen before (and remember, I’ve been DJing weddings since 1997!!!), was a moment during the “exchanging of the rings” portion of the ceremony, when the groom (an extraordinarily nice man who was dressed in FULL cowboy attire) not only gave his bride a ring, but also gave rings to her daughters, and gave the bride’s son (who looked to be in his late teens or early twenties) a SHOTGUN, to help seal the deal and bring the family together—I can now say that I have OFFICIALLY DJed a shotgun wedding… Lot’s of people “aaaww”-ed and wiped tears away at this touching scene. (Mariah and I, on the other hand, kept wondering if the shotgun was loaded, and if we should maybe leave the gear and run for the car… Guns plus lots of booze equals not a great idea, in our humble opinions. We aren’t around guns very often and they tend to make us nervous—plus, we were so far out in the Washington woods that our phones didn’t get any cell service if we needed to call for help! Yes, it’s true: we are “gun wussies…”)

In other news, as Mariah and I were playing the “Boot Scoot Boogie” for the crowds, Elise and her boyfriend, Gabe, were enjoying some more beach time in Newport, Oregon. They hit the Oregon Coast Aquarium and the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum and had a grand old time for a few days. They even brought me a few postcards (knowing how much I love postcards AND weird things!!!)

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THANKS AGAIN for the postcards, you two! Seems like my kids are always getting me cool stuff… Frankie (my older daughter) went to Sun River a few weeks ago and came back with a couple of stickers for me (which I taped into my notebook):

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And I also taped this penny-press altered penny into my book (which I “made” with one of those hand-crank penny-press machines on our last trip to Seaside, Oregon. I think it was a month or so ago… Maybe??? I’m really bad with time…)

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So, yeah… We’ve had a lot of fun over the last few months, although the getting a new job and living through the smoke from the wild-fires were pretty awful. Still, like Grandpa Bob used to say: “EVERY DAY ABOVE GROUND IS A GOOD DAY!” You tell ‘um, Grandpa Bob!

—Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Supreme Bunny Lord of The P.E.W.)

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About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
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