“Springtime in the Pacific Northwest” by Richard F. Yates

Ah, springtime in the Pacific Northwest—the most schizophrenic season in an already freaked out part of the world. Yesterday morning, about 6:30 A.M., I got a note from a friend saying it was snowing at his house, and I saw a few people driving around town with snow on the roofs of their cars on the way to work.

By noon, it was sunny, and I picked up my wife with the windows down and the new wave music blaring! Within a half an hour, the dark clouds that are always looming in the PNW broke open, and we got a nice bit of rain. And, of course, yesterday was the first heavy meteor shower of the season, punching holes in convertible car tops and pelting spring joggers with head-wound inflicting space rocks.

Spring is also the season when the young monsters crack free of their eggs and go looking for soft, human children to feast on. (Most long-time PNW residents teach their kids to stay away from woodland areas, lakes, and streams, especially at dusk, in the springtime.) Yes, the spring, when the flowers bloom, the birds chirp, and the young monstrosities howl us to sleep at night.

It’s a confusing, but ultimately comfortable season, letting us know we still have a few months to relax before the summer sun brings the inevitable pack-monster slaughters of out of state hikers and campers! (You’ve got to be pretty tough to enjoy the forests in Washington State and know how to spot a monster nest in the daylight to avoid a nasty—typically fatal—surprise when camping at night!)

Meanwhile, have a great spring day! (And don’t forget to bring a light spring jacket, a heavy winter coat, some suntan lotion, a metal umbrella, and a silver sword or spear just in case!)

—Richard F. Yates
(Primitive Thoughtician and Supreme Bunny Lord of The P.E.W.)


About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
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