“Bigfoot (Part 9)” by Randy Long

[Here it is, the final part of Randy Long’s epic Bigfoot fantasy adventure!!! Randy has the Golden Key. He’s met with Kermit the Hermit and acquired the Golden Compass, and now he knows that the rightful King of the Bigfoot has been overthrown! Without further ado, let’s get right back into the action! —RFY]


We all headed back to Oasis Town, and my wife and Ed and Tracy were all there getting ready to come look for me because I was five days late coming back from the caves. I greeted them and talked to the Elders, and they were surprised to see a Bigfoot in the high desert. It wasn’t that the Bigfoot couldn’t be in the desert, but they preferred not to be. We talked to the Elders and asked them, “Have you heard of the Golden Key and Golden Compass?”

They said, “Yeah, we’ve heard of them, but aren’t they just myths?” The Elders say they were lost centuries ago. “It’s said that the person that reunites the Golden Compass and the Golden Key will rule this planet for all time.”

I said, “I’ve got them both, though I don’t want to rule this world, but I don’t want to be ruled, either. King Ralph wants to be the Protector, like the Ancients said. They put the Bigfoot people here to protect all, NOT RULE.”

I pulled the Golden Compass out of my bag and the Golden Key out from under my shirt. The Elders looked with amazement and said, “We will follow you.”

I said, “I don’t want to change the world, like I said. No one wants to be ruled. We have to make a plan for how to overcome the Bigfoot people and put King Ralph back in power. With the Key we can open any door, and the Golden Compass can tell us where the special doors are. We need to unite humans and Bigfoot alike. The plan is to go to different doorways in this world and get all the people together and to back King Ralph.”

“In secret,” I continued, “we have to go to every town and convince everyone to help us overthrow Bigfoot City without raising a hand.”

The word spread quickly throughout Oasis Village.

“All who want to be free, follow us!” And with the Key and Compass, we struck out to gather people from all the doors to unite to overwhelm and take over Bigfoot City. The Elders helped to unite the people from every door.

Months went by, but finally everyone was ready. King Ralph, the Bigfoot King, said we needed a human to rule alongside of him to unite human and Bigfoot alike. “We need to look long and hard, and find a human who wants equality and not just to rule the Bigfoot.”

After searching many doorways, we heard of a human who lived with other humans but treated the Bigfoot with respect. His name was Jay, and he lived beyond the desert in a village called Bluetrees. A long journey beyond the desert to Bluetrees took another week, and we talked to Jay, explaining the situation. He said he would be glad to unite humans and Bigfoot alike. Jay was glad to try to change this world.

We went back to Oasis Village to gather all and storm Bigfoot City. We all stormed the city, and with all our numbers, we took over Bigfoot City!

Jay and Ralph began the new administration and vowed to work together for a new and fair world.

—Randy Long


[There it is! Peace reigns in the Bigfoot World! Did Randy and his pals ever make it home? Maybe we’ll find out in the SEQUEL! Start sending those letters, now! We demand that Randy Long writes MORE!!! For those who haven’t read the entire “Bigfoot” storyline, it’s all available in one place! Give it a read and let us know what you think! AND don’t forget that Randy Long has a BOOK available full of Pacific Northwest folk tales, camping and fishing adventures, UFOs, humor, and (of course) KILLER SQUIRRELS!!! Thanks for stopping by! —RFY]

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About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
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