“The Grim Brothers” by Richard O’Brien & Richard F. Yates

the grim brothers

Another sad story of sibling distress,
which I will not sugar-coat with a written caress.
Gary and Grime Grim shared quite a bit,
but sometimes in life it seemed they did not fit.

The brothers grew up in west San Francisco,
and shared a love of warm Weather, Girls, and disco.
Which made it quite ironic, then,
that their favorite song was, “It’s Raining Men.”

The music that really brought a Rush to each one’s head,
was a common love for the piece, YYZ.
They even wanted to create their own congested cover band,
with their song, “Girls on Phlegm,” by Duran-Cough-Duran.

My point is that Gary and Grime loved each other a lot;
the brothers were inseparable and they never fought.
And when I say “inseparable,” that’s what I mean:
they were conjoined twins who shared a single spleen.

Now pay attention, this is where the story gets sad,
as Mother Nature had dealt them something bad.
The boys were attached, fists to head,
an affliction that would make most wish they were dead.

Their appearance made them look like an angry menace,
made even worse by a genetic, permanent grimace.
God added another cruelty to this critter:
permanent “V’ed” eyebrows that made them look bitter.

As a result, the brothers were arrested 300 times,
for fighting in public and other, various crimes.
Gary and Grime couldn’t help their appearance at all,
but wherever they went people tried to break up their brawl.

Their brotherly love proved to fall short,
with the “300 Strikes and You’re Out” law they soon faced in court.
Even during proceedings, the boys were not exempt,
from allegations of fighting at trial, and were found in contempt.

The jury found it difficult to determine who dealt the first blow,
but found Gary not guilty, set him free, and let go.
Sadly, Grime was sentenced to life and a half;
now both in prison, their fights are wagered on by staff.

—O’Brien & Yates
(Words by Richard O’Brien. Image by Richard F. Yates.)


About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
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