“Decoy Danni” by Heinrich Hippohurdler

There comes a time in every young monster’s life when the adult fangs have grown in, the claws are as sharp as they are going to get, and the lust for blood has reached a boiling point, and that is exactly when you need “Decoy Danni,” the amazing, life-like human female decoy! Just stand this high-grade plastic decoy by any human telephone pole, stop sign, or dark alley after dusk, and she’ll attract a young human male within minutes, guaranteed, or your money back! (Offer not valid in Utah.) She giggles! She flips her hair! She adjusts her human bra! Human males simply cannot resist her female charms! Perfect for beginning hunters or for those nights when you need a quick snack and don’t have the time to properly stalk your prey. Yes, “Decoy Danni” can help make that first kill of the night as simple as slaughtering a new born baby! “Decoy Danni” by Huntco, the makers of “Decoy Dan” and other fine products, available at a goblin market or pharmacy near you!

—Heinrich Hippohurdler

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[Reconfirmed: 17 Aug. 2017]

About richardfyates

Compulsive creator of the bizarre and absurd. (Artist, writer, poet, provocateur...)
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